IMG_3190

Originally uploaded by the magnificient purple and mystical goat of love

I intended to do many things this weekend. For example, I intended to attend this conference on Friday. I didn’t attend due to my wonderful clock setting skills which confused AM with PM. I woke up at 10 a.m. all warm and fuzzy and then shouted words that would embarrass my mother. Since the conference itself was in Little Rock and I live a good two hours away…. well, you do the math.

I really wanted to listen to programs on how poor people aren’t getting proper legal services. As a person who has consistently worked and interned in public defender’s offices, I know how the poor live and I heard about all the struggles to get basic necessities. It’s hard to go to a job interview if you don’t even have metro fare.

I ended up commisserating by watching Dexter episodes on DVD. I’m not sure why watching serial killers cheers me up but it always does.

My original plans were to go to the conference, stay the night in a hotel, and then run the Great Gobbler/Little Giblets 5K in Maumelle on Saturday morning. Well that went to hell, so I decided to get up early and drive to Maumelle from my house in SE Arkansas. So I did just that.

I get to the race site and go for my purse and realize that I had left my purse in SE AR. !*&)(^&)^^%!!! somehow I had left my checkbook in my car. No I don’t know either and am completely embarassing myself by confessing my flightiness to the public at large. It did end up saving my ass later because I was able to buy a Walmart gift card to pay that I could use in the gas station to get gas to come home.

So the race itself. I had not run since the great rain of 2009. I am a wuss about getting wet and this was my first real run since then. Also, the route had an incline. I knew it was going to be a slow time. It was. Average page was 15:32 AND 48:10.29 OVERALL. OUCH! that’s slow. It’s my slowest time ever.

Well progress is always one step at a time.

OH and if you’re fat and don’t want to exercise or race because people will laugh at you, get over it. People who laugh at others are retarded.

AHEM…

I met my friends John and Rebecca. Rebecca was running the race also. Here’s her picture. I went to undergrad with John way back in the day. Back in the day, he was a big cool senior who ran the radio station and I was a big dorky freshman. They were meeting some other friends and had brunch after the race. I had some spicy chorizo that burned my whole entire mouth. OOH CALIENTE indeed. Of course, I asked where he got it.

I finally (and I do mean finally) got to meet the beautiful and funny Sophie. Sophie is four. I asked her if she was running the Little Giblets 1K. She responded, “I am running zero K” Yeah that kid knows what’s going on. If I had any inkling that I could produce a kid as awesome as Sophie, I’d put a bun in my oven today. Unfortunately, I think I would produce a kid more like that kid who wanted to do “hood rat stuff with his friend”

I also saw my friend Ken from undergrad. He was Jennybee’s boyfriend back then. His son was indeed running the 1K. His name is Beckett and he is 3. Yes he is cute. His parents adopted him from Vietnam which is an awesome story in and of itself. [aside, isn't "in and of itself" the most redundant pretentious phrase in the English language. I can't believe I just used it in an sentence] Yeah they blogged about it over here. I hadn’t seen him in years.

THEN, I met some more friends for lunch at Panera. Here’s a picture of that. We also managed to raise money for a Shelter. Yee haww.

Even though I had many very definite plans for this weekend. I was able to adjust and still have fun. Life is about making memories and the relationships you have with other people. This weekend was definitely for the memory books.

Happy Halloween from Melissa Runs with this video of CHristopher Walken doing a dramatic reading of Lady GaGa

it’s been a while. Work has picked up. I have cooties or some type of flu. I’m even missing the free flu shots due to my ability to hock up things that look more appropriate in an Exorcist remake.

• Yes I have decided to do the Little Rock Half Marathon again. It should be a hoot. This time I will do more hill training and kick some bootay.
• Speaking of Bootay, this post involving waxing from Four Jugs is all kinds of wrong. I mean WRONG. IF you heard the screaming from my computer, you would have thought I was watching that blasted Two Girls One Cup video.
• Other booty related thoughts. I want to cover my booty in these cute running skirts. . There are some more running skirts on this page. Oh they are cute.
• The Allen House is giving its annual Halloween tours this weekend. OOOOOH spooky. They had paranormal investigators come in and ooh.

That’s all my sick self can do right now.

Bikers for Boobs

Originally uploaded by melissathegoofy

This morning was the Race for the Cure. Due to technical difficulties, I didn’t walk with Team Fabulous. This resulted in me getting up at 5:30 in the morning to make it to Little Rock by the 8 o’clock race time. I am dedicated to saving the boobs. That is all I am going to say.

This is one of my favorite races of the year even though it really isn’t a race. It’s more of a walk a thon. Most of the people who do Race for the Cure have never done any type of race. They don’t understand anything about moving to the left or even thinking about the fact that there are people behind you wanting to go faster. They also don’t read the signs that say “Runners faster than 27 minutes here” and “Joggers here” So that when the race starts everybody is just walking.

But the large amount of support for this cause is inspiring. Along with the actual 45,000 or so registered walkers/runners, there are also tons of people along the race route giving their support. The fire stations all have representatives with their trucks hooping and hollering. This year, one of the fire stations painted a truck pink. There are belly dancers, the UAPB Marching Band, Yogis, politicians, the LR Central Marching band, the news outlets, cheerleaders from tons of schools, country singers, and republicans and democrats on the route to show their support.

AND there are the bikers. These aren’t some “riding club” bikers. These are the real deal and every year they come out in their loud Harleys reving with their pink hair, beads, balloons, and signs about saving Second Base.

It’s a lot of fun.

if you haven’t donated to Race for the Cure and would like to do so, you can donate here.

I came across this article on Lawyerist about headshots and biographies. I have been putting off the headshot and I am completely baffled about what to put in a biography for my professional site.

What exactly is my expertise if I’m starting out and how does my “expertise” manage to follow the Rules of Professional Conduct that says you can’t say you are an expert in a certain type of law?

For all the writing about myself and random daily events on this blog, I have always had problems writing out my accomplishments and writing a succinct biography. It must be a function of modesty or some “home training” where I’m supposed to be modest. Also, I’m always surprised at what people want to know and how people react to certain information. I also see the gaps and the disappointments and mistakes I made in my life in those biographies. The information that isn’t there because I did something goofy or made a decision that turned out in hindsight to be “not wise.”

Of course, my mistakes aren’t tragic. I haven’t gone to jail. I’m not paralyzed from the waist down because I got in a car with drunk driver. Although I am overweight, I still have a decent blood pressure and am working to lose weight. I have a good job and some good friends. Even though I’ve had some relationships that were absolutely horrible, I didn’t have any horrible marriages that resulted in kids and many years of a long drawn out divorce and years of litigation over child custody and visitation issues. When the weenies who used to be my significant others are gone, they can stay gone. I’m blessed like that.

So what is this great biography that I should be making on my professional site? I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out later.

The foodie quiz.
Omnivore’s 100 Meme
Instructions:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating, or will never eat again.
4) italicize ones you haven’t eaten but WANT TO TRY
5) Leave the ones you haven’t tried, but are indifferent about

Let’s just say I’ll try any food once and leave it at that. Oh wait but no roadkill. That thing could have rabies. I’m not eating rabies.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros (I am not a fan of sunny side up eggs.. hrmmm..)
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile/Alligator
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper -
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar.
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

There’s a concept in the De-cluttering world known as email amnesty where you delete all your emails and send a mass email to all your contacts stating “sorry, I was so far behind on answering emails that there was no way I could catch up. I deleted them all. If there was something important, I’m sorry. Please send the message again.”

Well. All those meaningful posts that I meant to write are well way past their prime to be relevant anymore. Maybe I’ll catch up on them later. Here’s a list.

• The first football game of the season here in small town America. It was our town versus the town twelve miles away. IT’s amazing how football, of all things, manages to bring the entire town together. I had pictures of the band and the full bleachers of the visitor side and the home team side. Well I guess I will upload the pics. The “Friday Night Lights” style commentary is just gone forever.
• Roman Polanski.

  Okay I may still go after details on this. I’m a criminal defense attorney at heart and this type of case is a gold mine for all the issues involved. Does he deserve time? If criminal law is meant to protect the public, does it matter that Polanski hasn’t recommited the type of crime in the past 30 years? Does it matter that he was gainfully employed and giving to society? Does it matter that his past involved Nazis and his wife and unborn child being slaughtered by the Manson family? What about his leaving the country? Does it matter about the corrupt judge? OH man.

  Well the short answer is that in most states (i’m not sure about California) bail jumping, leaving the country, being on the lam, etc. is an entirely new charge and that is an extra felony on top of his crime. So he’s screwed for that. There is a concept that warrants get stale and if the police wait too long then it’s over. Most of that time, that is based on a warrant to arrest and it doesn’t involve a person ACTIVELY avoiding being arrested. The girl was underage and that is statutory rape. This means it is a strict liability crime. it doesn’t matter if she lied and said she was 20. It doesn’t matter if was completely consensual and she climbed on top of your naked body and rode you like a rodeo bull. If she’s under age and you had sex with her, you’re going to JAIL. The more interesting question is “how much time should he get?” Sentencing is where most of the issues being bandied around in the press get their attention: his past, etc.

• MORE SERIAL KILLER LOVE I discovered Dexter. What a wonderful witty little show. I managed to whiz through the first two seasons via Netflix ready view and will now have to wait for Season 3 to make it here in teeny succession.

  I became interested in psychology after watching Silence of the Lambs. My wanting to be a criminal profiler lead to an interest in forensic psychology which lead to my investigation job which lead to law school. If you want to connect the dots, Hannibal Lecture is responsible for me being a lawyer. Lord, help you all.

• WORK AND VOLUNTEER WORK I’ve become involved with the local young lawyers section. Since I have been in practice for less than five years, I qualify. yee hawww. This also deserves an extra special YEE HAWWW because it means I am getting out of the house.
• I’m doing Race for the Cure again. According to the site, I’ve raised NO DAMN MONEY!
• professional domain YES. web host for professional site. YES. Actual site content. NO! will rectify that soon.
• COOKING I bought a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I’m not good at cooking but, like Julia Child, I do like to eat. Since I heard that she explains every little thing down to the last detail, I would buy this book and attempt to make delicious food. We’ll see how this goes. I’m sure there will be photos.

So yeah. I could have written an entry on each blurb. I just realized I forgot about the Blogging Academy I attended. SEE!!

But I’m good and I tweet a lot. And I will start over with topics.

Travel Solo and Yes, Talk to Strangers

Posted using ShareThis

I live in a dry county and for whatever reason have become friends with people who don’t drink. As a result, there isn’t the bar hopping of days past.

As a result, this list of Drinks to try before you expire. Well I don’t have that many bold items.

List of Drinks You Must Try Before You Expire

1. Manhattan Cocktail
2. Kopi Luwak (Cat-poo coffee…I plan to seek it out on my next trip to Vietnam…it’s crazy expensive…even there.)
3. French / Swiss Absinthe
4. Rootbeer
5. Gin Martini
6. Sauternes
7. Whole Milk
8. Tequila (100% Agave)
9. XO Cognac
10. Espresso
11. Spring Water (directly from the spring)
12. Gin & Tonic
13. Mead (Mead can be really tasty…)
14. Westvleteren 12 (Yellow Cap) Trappist Ale (N
15. Chateau d’Yquem
16. Budweiser
17. Maraschino Liqueur
18. Mojito
19. Orgeat
20. Grand Marnier
21. Mai Tai (original)
22. Ice Wine
23. Red Bull
24. Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
25. Bubble Tea (nasty, nasty stuff)
26. Tokaji (want to try…)
27. Chicory
28. Islay Scotch
29. Pusser’s Navy Rum
30. Fernet Branca
31. Fresh Pressed Apple Cider
32. Bourbon
33. Australian Shiraz
34. Buckley’s Cough Syrup
35. Orange Bitters
36. Margarita (traditional recipe)
37. Molasses & Milk
38. Chimay Blue
39. Wine of Pines (Tepache)
40. Green Tea
41. Daiginjo Sake
42. Chai Tea
43. Vodka (chilled, straight)
44. Coca-Cola
45. Zombie (Beachcomber recipe)
46. Barley Wine
47. Brewed Choclate (Xocolatl)
48. Pisco Sour
49. Lemonade
50. Speyside Single Malt
51. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
52. Champagne
53. Rosé
54. Bellini
55. Caipirinha
56. White Zinfandel
57. Coconut Water
58. Cerveza
59. Cafe au Lait
60. Ice Tea
61. Pedro Ximenez Sherry
62. Vintage Port
63. Hot Chocolate
64. German Riesling
65. Pina Colada
66. El Dorado 15 Year Rum
67. Chartreuse
68. Greek Wine
69. Negroni
70. Jägermeister
71. Chicha
72. Guiness
73. Rhum Agricole
74. Palm Wine
75. Soju
76. Ceylon Tea (High Grown)
77. Belgian Lambic
78. Mongolian Airag (kimus)
79. Doogh, Lassi or Ayran
80. Sugarcane Juice
81. Ramos Gin Fizz
82. Singapore Sling
83. Mint Julep
84. Old Fashioned
85. Perique (appears to be liquor distilled from tobacco!)
86. Jenever (Holland Gin)
87. Chocolate Milkshake
88. Traditional Italian Barolo (Have a bottle…unopened…need to open).
89. Pulque
90. Natural Sparkling Water
91. Cuban Rum
92. Asti Spumante
93. Irish Whiskey
94. Château Margaux
95. Two Buck Chuck (Would buy it if it were in AR)
96. Screech
97. Akvavit
98. Rye Whisky
99. German Weissbier
100. Daiquiri (classic)

See? Look. How did that happen?!?!?! How did that happen. I’m a do-gooder. I should go sell girlscout cookies and add
“GOLLY GEE WHIZ” to my vocabulary.

It could be an actual Prohibition protest.

Insurance Company Executives need your help. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. And yeah everybody and their mama has already seen but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.