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December 28, 2008 / merlisser

OH

I love running and today was a very nice seven mile run. It was the same pace I usually run but it didn’t feel tiring. Also, I ran up and down some hills so it should have been more strenuous and slower than my other runs. Somehow I did it and I feel very proud of myself. Yes I am a dork.

I paid the registration fee for the Little Rock half marathon. I have talked and written about it for quite a while but I finally took the leap and paid it. Now I have to go. Well I don’t have to do anything but the fee is non refundable. I have told everybody and their mother. People have even said they would show up to cheer me on. Really? Cheer little old me?! I’m not worthy. Of course, I have a self esteem problem. Or not.

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine wrote about something that was very tragic and painful. I feel empathy for her and her struggle. Unfortunately for me, it is freakishly close to one of my own “very bad events in my life.” As a result, I’ve been a hot mess. I’ve been binging on food like it’s going out of style. I’ve made a very bad trip down to the swampy ugly pothole filled parts of memory lane and I am desperately searching back to Present-ville.

I’m looking towards the future and making plans to change a whole lot about my life. I have managed to put myself in a rut. I need to get out of it.

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