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January 5, 2009 / merlisser

The plans of mice and men will sometimes freeze their butts off.

I had some business in Little Rock and I had planned to call my friend John and take him up on that offer to buy me a gyro from LAYLA’S HALAL. I also planned to go see the Warhol exhibition at the Arts Center. Alas, by the time I made it to my appointment and looked out the window, icicles had already begun forming on the branches of the trees. This meant that I pretty much drove straight back home. I was disappointed by this because my temperment is more suited to city dwelling with its gyro serving museum exhibit seeing tempo. OH what the hell, I really just wanted a bitchin (and free to me because John offer to pay) gyro!

I did discover that my Garmin works and the first time ride with the thing telling me to drive into a lake was a fluke. (seriously it told me to drive straight…into a lake. Okay to be fair the lake wasn’t on the Garmin. The Garmin saw a road there).

In life, I’ve been told I feel too much. In therapy, I get told that I intellectualize everything and don’t let myself feel enough. Who the hell knows?! I do know that even through trying times, I am able to compartmentalize things. If in public, someone is able to yell and say nasty things and I won’t cry. No matter how shitty things are, I have a complete inability to cry in public. Then later in the privacy of my own solitude, I will break down. I guess sometimes, I don’t give myself that appointment with solitude in order to let it out. Maybe I have some sort of emotional constipation where I have a backlog of shit. That was some nice imagery. I love myself.

Compartmentalizing is not completely without its perks. I was able to be sexually assaulted by a man and kick academic ass in the class that we both shared because no one was willing to kick him out of it. I was able to be the Veronica Mars of DC and investigate crime scenes and whatnot. Being able to keep on keeping on is a good thing. The bad thing is that sometimes you keep on keeping on and forget to take care of yourself. You will keep walking on that sprained ankle until you can’t walk anymore. Sometimes you forget to eat or eat everything in sight because you’re just keeping on and doing anything to keep on and keep from thinking about anything of any emotional significance. Sometimes you keep on and don’t see a problem until it’s pointed out by someone else.

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