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January 16, 2009 / merlisser

Ruminations during an ear infection

I got an ear infection. While having an ear infection sounds painful, it really isn’t. The most annoying thing about my ear infection is that I have fluid behind the ear. This means my eustachian tube is clogged with flemmy goodness and I can hear myself breathe and chew but my hearing the outside world is compromised. It’s like being a female version of Darth Vader– freaky, heavy breathing all the time.

Being inside your head like this lends itself to being inside your head. I’ve been wondering about life and where I’m going. Right now, I don’t feel I’m going anywhere. I’m circling. It’s not the life I wanted as a kid. Hell, it’s not the life I wanted as a young adult and as the youth of my adulthood is slowly creeping towards middle age, I am finding that it is not the life I want now. I am on a mission now. Obama is changing America. I can change my circumstances. I can change my attitude and whatnot.

The Washington Post sent a reporter to Arkansas to talk to rural voters who were wary about Obama. Well, of course, I had to get my “oh no here we go again, talking crap about the Arkansans” because this rural/urban divide is everywhere.

I did read a quote in the discussion of the article later that rang all too true about the life here. (and oh I’m going to hurt some feelings for reprinting it)

This summer I moved from D.C. to East Texas. Attitudes around here are very similar to the ones described in your article. It’s been frustrating to live here. On the one hand, the people I’ve met are very open and nice. I’ve never seen such well mannered kids as there are here, or people who are so friendly. On the other hand, the people I’ve met here also use the N word, distrust anyone from north of the Mason Dixon line and condemn so many different types of people to hell I wonder how there will be space for them all.

I like diversity and one thing about this area is that it inherently distrusts anything different. It picks tradition over change even when change could be better. A prominent campaign point on any political campaign is “I was born here.” or “I grew up here and raised my kids here” You have to have lineage. One of the attorneys I know has practiced here for 25 years and she is still “that lady from Michigan” I think by the time you live somewhere twenty five years, you’re a hometown hero.

I’m not sure where the distrust of change comes from. Are some Arkansans here racists? yep. I listened to several people I know discuss whether Obama was going to have a watermelon patch at the White House. This is a place that decries spreading the wealth but lives on farm subsidies.

The businesses are dying and new businesses aren’t coming in but if a community is going to have a distrust of outsiders, why would outsiders want to live here? So the town slowly dies as the town elders get older. Maybe things will change but not soon.

I watched Towncraft which was interesting but I’m hungry now. So I’m going to eat some dinner. High quality writing here when I’m all sick and such. No fancy schmancy ending. It’s just “i’m hungry. later”

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